IC 1 again

i dont know where to start, but just let me being myself. i finally reach to the end. Allah i dont know how i can get through everything. get through what? MY REPEAT YEAR! if you guys dont know, i actually had to repeat my second year in medical school. the first 3 days when i got the news (in denial state) 50% of the days i just wondering and cry a bit. me and my friend just spent our day outside because i know there will be people coming to my house and check if im okay or not. well of course im not ready to face them, after 3 days then i called my mom and told her, i have to repeat 2nd year all over again.i asked my mom to keep the secret by herself and after 2 weeks then i called my dad and told him the truth. the reason im doing that is because i need to stable myself. i need to be strong. i need to believe in myself that i can take this challenge and do it all over again. it just like "cry now but get back to the game and win bigger". i dont want be too fragile when i disclose the news to my family, especially my parents. the most important thing is i have to ACCEPT and REDHA. it was very difficult guys.. i would say this was the lowest point in my life. i never experience such failure like this.. pity me, my life experience not that challenging/ difficult.
 but above all, deep inside i know, Allah's plan is better than mine. i feel so grateful that i have a supportive family that always believe in me, care and love me unconditionally.my parents never put pressure on me, they always chill and relax,well i hope i get traits too!

about friends, now i know those sincerely friend with me. you know who you are. may Allah bless all of you.
it is ANOTHER 20 days before i begin my IC1 exams. May Allah ease everything and make me pass my 2nd year. ameen

 

 2 semesters of repeat year is worth it. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

screw up

i never get screw up except this time around. someone told me that in every successful, it begins with failure. i made a mistake. I REPEAT a year and i hope i learn from my mistake. sometimes Allah push you to the limit to take out all your ego. Allah take away all your friends to make you realise that how you really dependent to people surround you. Allah take them away so you going out from your comfort zone, you need to make an effort to reach out people around you, they will not come without you make a move first. you realise that you actually lack of friends making skill. you realise that you need to give friendship so you can get friendship. you realise that you need to give love so you will get love, you realise that you need to give attention to people so that you get attention. you realise that what you give you will get back. all this while, when you think everything comes smoothly but why not this time around, you realise that you have been grown up. you need to search, make an effort to make all things work out. Allah give you the feel of loneliness to make you close to HIM. Allah give you failure in your eyes so you can feel how people struggle to get back. experience is the best teacher. you need to get through it to get the real experience. hardship will give you two options, either you get closer to Allah or you create a barrier between you and HIM. but remember 1 thing, Allah never screw you up, but you actually damage yourself HAVE FAITH WITH ALLAH and you will do fine.

omg omg omg

hey there, so yeah i decide to make a new blog, but suddenly I FOUND YOUUUUUUUUU! my old baby. i laugh so hard reading all those old posts. me so funnyyyy! how struggle myself in SPM day. It's now over. I been almost 3years in Ireland now. Well at first I expect i can study at UK but surely Allah knows best. it so precious if you can keep the memory in online documented thingy. it really helps me to reflect myself how far i have go. how my feeling and the way im thinking change. hi eddie (i almost forget i named you with that name.. haha. you are so cute. finally we meet again, i promise if got time, i try to write more often okay) till next time, me. almost twenty three this year :0

hari yang sadis

ohh macam mana aku nak mula tulis ni.

okay okay..tarik nafas,lepas. tarik..lepass.fuh lega.

oh hari ni agak sadis sebab aku terpaksa menunggu lebih tiga jam sebelum aku dapat sampai ke rumah dan terus melompat ke arah katil.

tadi aku ada pra-ujian kereta,lulus?ohh alhamdulillah. L U L U S .19/20
jam 1030 semua dah selesai tapi tah kenapa cikgu aka driver untuk hantar aku pulang ke rumah sesuka hati membuat keputusan drastik lagi menyakitkan hati dan limpa.

dia buat apa? nak tahu. ni hah. dia suruh ada budak ni tumpangkan aku balik rumah sebab rumah kitorag sehala.


1230
ohh tidak.kau nak tahu kenapa?orang yang menjemput budak tu sampai masa tu.sadis kan.penat aku menunggu,lepas tu.mak dia cakap mereka nak pergi membeli-belah la pulak.

aku? ohh okay, lepas tu jari aku pun menari-nari versi hip-hop atas keypad.mujur penyelamat aku ada.abg cakap nanti dia jemput aku sebab dia tengah isi perut.

aku pun ditinggalkan.haishh sadis betul.okayfine.lepas tu aku pun pergi la dekat hot spot yang senang abg nk cari. berdiri tepi kedai cendol.

semerbak harum.bau apa?haa bau india punya minyak wangi.hujan pulak tu..haisshh dua kali ganda sadis.


130
haa setelah hampir berjanggut aku menunggu.sampai la superhero aku.
finally sampai jugak aku ke rumah ku syurga ku.

batu loncatan aku belajar hari ini ialah = jangan susahkan atau berharap orang yang tak kenal kita untuk tolong kita melainkan jika tidak ada keluarga sendiri yang boleh tolong.

tambah lagi sikit.haa aku dah hantar semua dokumen untuk mohon UPNM. aku nak jadi askar ke?tahla,
ni plan B.
aim for the best, prepare for the worst.
tapi tarikh tutup 31 jan, benda tu semua sampai mungkin 1 feb.
macam mana?entah la.

hi..i miss you

hi eddie.


eddie,you know what, lately i have a lot of things want to be posted here. but somehow,u know me well enough right..i am too lazy to write them here. i rather keep them in my lovely,softly, moist heart.haha

a few weeks ago. i met a friend. i am so grateful that i found him.
hope our friendship will grow bigger.ameen.
you inspired me a lot. syukran. keep on being my alarm okay :)

best friend needed.desperados

desperados

i need a BOYfriend that i can call BESTFRIEND.
i thought i had found once.
but he is not to be called "bestfriend".
maybe i can just call him a "goodfriend"
but still..i am seaching for a bestie, which i share everything.

DESPERADOS AMEGAS!

why a boy,because i need a brain from chromosome XY.
i so tired with the XX type.
too many XX in my life.so i need some 'difference',maybe.

where are my bestfriends actually?hehh i had once?
ohh maybe they are just friends, not bestfriends...sighh!

start here,

heyyyheyyy.
i am going to change this blog from PRIVATE to PUBLIC.

why??ask my mom.haha

so,please IGNORE the other posts before this.

again,please IGNORE the other posts before this.

that's it.
me.
ten ten :g